What is your daily motivation and does it work?

So for removing this sadness I again started scrolling and eat food.

I realise I am too lazy and cant woke up early.

Is this motivation works let's see

This cycle keep going in my life

my mom want to do urgent call but she can't do cause she thinks I am studying on mobile(i use my mom mobile) .

I am currently studing in class 12th and I don't motivate from only single thing.

After coming back home I started to scrolling on YouTube and then I realise that time is 7 pm and I done nothing and I become sad.

But I become depressed when

At the end I just pick mobile and waste some time and then go to school.

I woke up early with dream of IIT.

I think about my parents sacrifices and dream to make them happy.

At 9 pm i sleep with teary eyes with unfulfilled goals and sad heart,😞{I am literally crying while writing answer}

My younger brother want to asks doubt about study but he can't cause he thinks I am studying .

I see my parents woke up early from me .

But after knowing this whole things I can't study and waste my time on mobile but I don't know why